.assalamualaykum Wr. Wb.

it's 01.48 am now.
i can't sleep yet.
get bored, tired of chemistry, so what else i can do beside onlining.
and listening to my musics of course.

well, actually, there are TOO much thinks in my head now.
even i really don't know how to start talk about them.
they just come and fill my head, don't give me even just a little chance to separate them; which one are needed and aren't.

then, let's see how i can hold them with my little head.


but i think better if i just type about light thing that can entertain me NOW.

i never think that i can growing up here, with all these situations, conditions, time, places, and people. i just ever thought that i'll never grow up, and will stay kids, climbing trees, shouting all the time, running everywhere, tanning (hha! sorry, MOM! =) ), and others. i'ts like a "BAM!", suddenly i'm HERE.

suddenly, i'm here.
seeing many cars, colorful cars. seeing many high buildings. seeing beautiful people.
seeing many different restaurants. seeing good schools (high building-schools). and many more.

whiles before, i just could see "ugly" beaches (my niece said), and forests.
yeah, forests. i don't know what i'd ever got in my past, that can makes me so crazy about forests, about jungle, woods, whatever u say. i just always feel, "yeah, that's home. so?" always like that.

my GRANDFA ever said that i can easily do adapt in a new place. coz i'm quite talkative. yes, that's true. (UHUK! UHUK! i'm coughing). and I WON'T EVER FORGET IT.
he said that and smiled to me. and u know, it really suggest me much thinks.
until now.

i think maybe i'm very different with all of my friends.
a thing that always make me thank to GOD is that i can feel this, HE gives me chance to be different. well, everybody's different. but maybe they just never think more about that.

i used to have a Mother, just like you all.
now, there's NO Mother anymore (for u. for me, she's still alive)
i used to have a HOME.
now, i live in my Uncle's HOUSE.
about 3 years ago, i wonder if i can continue my study at MALANG.
my Mom, who was still alive at that time, agreed.
but then sh passed away.
all desicions are made by my Daddy of course. coz he's the only parent i have NOW.

i don't know how it was going, how come the idea to send me here came.
they 'worked' for my study, required me in my SHSs in Makassar, and i don't know.
believe me, i tried to run away. but i can't.

so then, i met many new things. well, that's good for me.
like i always said, "i enjoy it".

fisrt time, i said, " SAYA TIDAK AKAN SUKA SEKOLAH INI!" (read: 01 SHS).
but i really can't pretend that 01 SHS gives me "MY LIFE".

my friends.
my girls.
my sisters.
my study.
my teachers.
my experiences.
my laughs.
my cries.
my shouts.
my breaths.
my madnesses.
my happinesses.
my sadnesses.
my trees.
my ZULFIKAR.
and others.

i can't imagine where else i can get THEM.

(can't make myself sleepy yet)

i used to say "damn u all. for sending me here."
now i appreciate it.

"THANK U VERY MUCH, for ALL u've done to me."

sometimes, there're much meaningful things that can't be told to another people,
while we want them to know.

KEEP FIGHT!

LIFE is CUTE.
u know that.
LIFE is UP and DOWN.

and for me, LIFE is DENISA.

there'll be NO LIFE for me without Denisa.

Ps.: can i add more? "DENISA, her girls, and her PRINS"

=D

time to study.
chemistry.
i can't, i think.

.wassalamualaykum.

02.40 am